HEALTHY PERSPECTIVES

I have always disliked the idea of “battling” cancer, instead of a more positive image that the body is working through a healing process.  But in clinical trials, visual imagery of battle is actually effective in tumor shrinkage. I don’t think we can universally say that anything the immune system does is protective.  In my work with RA patients, their immune system has decided to attack the connective joint tissue and ultimately their major organs.  Their chance of a full life is dependent on long-term use of immune-suppressing medications.  I agree that genetics are merely a switch, and our lifestyle/environment/behavior flips that switch.  It might be stress, it might be pollutants.  Unfortunately, many times we do not have control over the inciting incident.  I can’t tell my RA patients to undo the lyme disease infection that turned on their disease. 

The patients who have the greatest success in living a full life are the ones who ultimately see their disease as a gift.  Those patients talk about working WITH their RA, instead of fighting against it. This is an outrage of an idea for some, but I have a few patients who recognize the way RA changed their perspective, their priorities, and their self-care.  If someone with cancer can reach a point where he/she is thankful for the disease, I would be on that person living far longer than predicted.  But that is something that must be discovered, it cannot be taught.  And frankly, I would hope I’d be that kind of patient, but I don’t know if I would be.

The importance of faith in the process cannot be underestimated.  Whatever the treatment plan is, the patient and his/her support system have to be fully in support of it.  You have to make a choice, and then be “all in.”  It is not helpful to second guess the treatment once it is underway, because the treatment’s success is somewhat impacted by the attitude of the patient and his/her team.  You should not tell a woman who had a c-section that it could have been avoided for the benefit of her child. You can only tell her what a beautiful baby she has, and what a gift that life is.  You cannot tell someone who underwent a double mastectomy that genetics are only a fraction of cancer risk.  You can only tell her that you support what she felt she had to do for her peace of mind and her family.  

There are a million things that a person with cancer can be told about how to increase her chances of full remission.  She has to filter all of that and choose, because it isn’t possible to do it all.  I imagine that it would be overwhelming to be the recipient of everyone else’s great ideas, no matter how great they actually are, and especially when many of them conflict.  I am finding that my role in my mother’s recovery is not at all similar to how I would coach a client or a student in her situation.  She does not want my relaxation tapes and my protein shakes.  She wants my love, and the healing power of her grandchildren.  There are endless sources of information and ideas, but only her dearest family can give her unending support, unconditional encouragement, and truly healing love.