I send my mother photos of the kids by text message. Whenever my daughter puts on one of her crazy
mismatch outfits, or my son gets into a precarious situation. I do it because I know she feels like she is
missing these precious years by being a few hours away. They are growing so fast and changing every
day. These pictures are my way of
helping her to be there, so it doesn’t pass her by. They are also a way for me to reach out to
her without saying anything.
Since these are her only grandchildren, and grandchildren
are an obvious source of joy, I feel it is my obligation to give her doses of
that medicine on a regular basis. We
Skype too, and she watches them run around the playroom being goofy. I can see that she is tired, but for a little
while anyway, she doesn’t have to say a thing.
My mother is owed a lot of milestones. I have an 87 year old grandmother who is
falling often. It seems sometimes like
she is living for the next milestone (this one getting braces off, that one
having a 5th birthday) but she knows that she has been blessed to
live a full life and see so much already.
My mom deserves that. She
deserves to see them lose teeth and start school, ride a bike and give a
speech, have a crush and learn to drive, win an award and win a game. I want to make sure that she doesn’t miss out
on any of the little milestones. I don’t
want to give my son a first haircut without making it an event. I don’t want to see my daughter sing in a
show without inviting mom to come.
Her father died when she was young. I know that my mother
will always see that as unfair for him and for her. And even though my mother raised me to
adulthood, I still feel entitled to another 30 years. If she misses any of that, I will always
think that we both deserved more. But I
know we are given this life with no guarantees, and we should be grateful for every
milestone we are able to experience. It
is my goal to optimize the joy my mother feels from each little marker in the
fast-moving lives of my little ones.
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